Clever Girl!
by Anti-Carly
Summary: This is an estimate of what would happen if I were caught by the Riddler. My way of answering riddles would be found as amusing and face-palming to him, I'd hope! Please enjoy this short one-shot of me and the Riddler at a battle of the wits!


**Hello everyone! I've been inspired by my friend to write this short fic. It only is a short one-shot scenario between me and The Riddler. This revelation came about when we were all together solving riddles. Yes because when all the other teens are out partying and living on the edge we are the ones sitting around doing riddles! In doing so we've found that my answers to riddles would probably amuse The Riddler to an extent. I've put quotes from my friend within this text and one of her unanswered riddles. I dedicate this short fic to her. Love you Courtney! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even the riddles. Even the one at the end, that is my friend's. I might not even own myself ;D Yet I will say that these answers are my real answers.**

Plopped down on a hard wooden chair, face drawn to look down at a matching hard oak table was I. After being bound and thrown into that infamous green van the entire ordeal was rough and harsh but I couldn't be more happier! Bringing my face up I squinted at the harsh swinging light that hung between me and my love, The Riddler. His face bore that wicked grin upon my shocked reaction at first, but soon faded when I returned his smile.

Riddler, "Why are you smiling dear? Don't you know that I'm your death?"

I tried to sober myself up but was failing at the attempt. Sitting up straighter I composed myself but soon broke as I kept realizing that the Riddler sits before me!

He grunted and continued, "Anyway, I'm going to bargain with you honey. If you can show yourself superior then I'll let you run free. However if you fail and come up short conveying that you are no more than a filthy sewer rat, you will die. Do you understand smiles?"

I tilted my head gazing at him starry eyed, bursting with disbelief.

He slammed the tabled with his fist and barked, "Do you understand!"

I quickly became sheepish and nodded my head vigorously.

He sat back and ran a hand through his hair saying, "Good. Now what you have to do is extremely simple. All you need to do is-"

I burst out, "Solve your riddles and show you my intellect!" Completing this with a bounce and a smile.

He quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Who are you?"

"Just a fan sir."

I said with a bit of humbleness to it. He shook his head as if to shrug off the queerness I was displaying.

He continued, "Shall we begin?

"Whenever you're ready my Enygma." I said way too relaxed.

He fired back, "What?"

Me, "I mean yes sir, please….begin."

I faltered realizing my idiotic mistake. Yet he sat back, thankfully, dismissing my response and began,

"Riddle me this, an old man wanted to leave all of his money to one of his three sons but he didn't know which one he should give it to. He gave each of them a few coins and told them to buy something that would be able to fill their living room. The first man bought straw but there was not enough to fill the room. The second bought some sticks but they still did not fill the room. The third man bought two things that filled the room so he obtained his father's fortune. What were the two things that the man bought?" He finished this with a grin.

Me, "That was a really long one sir."

Riddler, "Just answer it! What were the two things?"

I pondered for a second then said, "Wallpaper and carpeting."

His face dropped, "What?"

Me, "Yeah, he filled the room with style and color. Not to mention pleasure if he bought one of those plush rugs an-"

He responded bluntly, "No, a candle and a match…"

I shrugged, "Potato patato."

He knit his brow in confusion and bewilderment.

Shaking his head he said, "Never mind next riddle. Riddle me this, a man comes across a man and a woman frozen in ice. Right off the bat he knew it was Adam and Eve. He was right, how did he know?"

Me, "Because his expedition team went off and never came back and when he found them he was like, 'No Adam, no Eve!'"

His face twisted in confusion, "What? No!" How…."

Me, "Ok then there was a costume party and the guy's two friends came as Adam and Eve. Then there was an ice age and he found them encased in ice."

His face met his palm at this response and he shook his head in disbelief, yet a small smile had shown through. "Wow…ok uh, next Riddle. Riddle me this, there were two men in a cell. The only things in the cell were a bed and a window that was raised high up. The two men attempted to stand on each other's shoulders to reach the window, but they failed. Then they saw that the floor had dirt so they decided to dig a tunnel, but they found that it would take too long. Yet they found a way of escape. How did they do it?"

"Walk through the open cell door." I replied.

He shook his head smiling still, "Really?"

I inwardly bounced at the sight.

He sighed, "Riddle me this, you have a set of three light switches outside a closed door. One of them controls the light inside the room. With the door closed from outside the room, you can turn the light switches on or off as many times as you would like. You can go into the room one time only to see the light. You cannot see whether the light is on or off from outside the room, nor can you change the light switches while inside the room. No one else is in the room to help you. The room has no windows. How can you tell which switch lights the room?"

I pondered for another second then said, "Keep damn the door open."

A thud was heard as his head hit the table.

Riddler, "What? Keep the door open?"

Me, "Yeah, keep the door open then flip the switches."

Riddler, "What if the door blocks the switches dear?"

Me, "Then keep one foot at the door to keep it open then reach behind it and flick them."

He shook his head rubbing his temples, "You really are something."

I brightened at this.

Me, "Now I have a Riddle for you!"

Looking up from his temple rubbing, eyes beautiful and half open, he replied, "Excuse me?"

Me, "I have a riddle for you. See if you can solve it for me."

He straightened up and gave a gesture as if to indicate to go ahead. "Please, amuse me."

"But I think I already have." I said coyly.

He gave scowl at me so I quickly hushed myself giving him an apology.

Me, "Alright Riddle me this, limited is my motion, strength I have few, but if you show me mercy please, the old will replace the new."

He sat there sideways in his chair, legs crossed staring at the wall pondering. He sat like this for what seemed hours and quite possibly, it was for hours. He then got up and grabbed his cane to begin pacing. I watched him intently and contently, happy to gaze upon his features. He paused and raised a finger about to say something, to only continue his pacing. This ticked on for hours and hours maybe even a day this continued. I slowly started to feel my eyes sting and my lids fall downward. Sinking lower and lower I rested my head atop the table and dozed off.

Angrily sitting back down at the table, cane thrown up against it, he returned to his spot; startling me awake. He rested his head in his hand looking to the wall to his right while tapping his finger in annoyance. I stared at him in surprise being slightly disoriented from my abrupt wake up.

Sighing he looked at me, "I can't believe that I can't find a definite answer. Is it a baby being brought up right?"

I shook my head.

Riddler, "Is it a broken heart?"

I shook my head again.

Riddler, "Is it a caterpillar going into a chrysalis?"

Me, "Oooo maybe!"

He looked at me, brows furrowed, "What do you mean maybe?"

Me, "I have no answer for this riddle, so it could be!"

He gave a disgruntled yell flinging the chair as he got up. "Lord you've given me such a headache!"

He exited leaving me all alone.

…

Half an hour later he entered into another room that was lined with wood. Coming forward he stopped and sighed. His face soon softened as he gave a slight smile down at my bloodied corpse on the floor. "I really liked this one."

Nodding as he said this, sighing again with a smile, he turned and left the room, cane in hand.


End file.
